Nowadays, marriage is no longer considered by many as sacred. It is already considered as a piece of agreement that can be just thrown into scratch if one party or both wanted to break away from the bond.
There are already many couples who do not consider marriage as their first priority. Instead of getting married first, they immediately live in together as if they are husbands and wives. For them, getting married is just a waste of time. Besides, they don’t want to compromise themselves, if ever time will come that they will decide to separate from each other. So, at least, if one of them wants to leave the other, they can immediately do it without the hassle of facing any charges. Besides, if one will file for divorce, it is very much costly.
If we will actually try to look around the world, we will see the fact that people get married today and tomorrow they get divorced just because they, couples, don’t meet in one point.
Most of the reasons why their marriage ended up in divorce are: third party, violence, money, and miss communication.
But since we are Christian, then we need to consider the teaching of God regarding marriage. This is where we start examining the Holy Bible.
God’s will on divorce
Let us start the discussion by asking the Bible, does God permit divorce?
The question is answered by Christ as recorded in Matthew 19:4-6:
And he answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’
“and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
“So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (New King James Version)
Christ’s answer is clear when he said, “let no man separate them.” This means that God does not permit divorce.
Why? Why God does not permit divorce? How is his feeling over the divorce?
In Malachi 2:16, we can read the answer which says:
“For the Lord God of Israel says
That He hates divorce,
For it covers one’s garment with violence,”
Says the Lord of hosts.
“Therefore take heed to your spirit,
That you do not deal treacherously.” (New King James Version)
According to the verse, God hates divorce. So, if one engages in divorce, then for sure, God will hate him too, which means he will surely became God’s enemy. And who really wants to become God’s enemy? No one. So, since we don’t want to become the enemy of God, then we should not consider divorcing our husband or wife.
The Only Solution to Avoid Divorce
There is only one, actually, way on how to avoid the divorce. And this is to make the law, the will, the commandments or the teachings of God rule over the couple’s relationship as what the Apostle Paul said:
For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. (Romans 7:2, New King James Version)
According to that verse, the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband. It is not actually applicable only to the woman, because the husband whom the wife is bound is also bound to the wife. In other words, both, the husband and the wife are bound to each other by the law.
If only the couple will understand this and have the heart to follow this fact, they will not do anything that can ruin their relationship. According to the verse, one can only be released from the law that bound them if one has died.
So, what are the teachings of God that if the couple follow them, they will not end up into divorce, but will live together happily till the death of one of the couple or both?
Here are the 4 things that a couple should do to preserve their marriage:
1.) Marriage should be honored.
The teaching of the Bible clearly said this:
Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4, New King James Version)
One should honor marriage and should remain faithful to each other. They should avoid fornication and adultery or else God will judge them.
We know that temptations are there always besides us. But if you really believe that God will judge those fornicators and adulterers, then I am sure that you will not allow the temptations to rule over yourselves.
2.) Mutual Love and Respect
Apostle Paul taught this:
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular to love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33, New King James Version)
The verse said that husband should love his wife as himself. A person, who loves his own body, will never do anything that will hurt him. The same is true if he loves his own wife, he does not only say the words “I Love You” to his wife, but he will never allow something bad will happen to her. He will never hurt her, instead, he will provide everything that she needs.
Apostle Peter has this message too:
Likewise you husbands, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wives, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (I Peter 3:7, New King James Version)
The apostle told the husband to live with his own wife, who is the weaker one, with understanding and respect. Husband should not be violent and should not raise his hands against his wife.
We should also take note that these verses do not teach the husbands to love the wives of the others or the wives to love the husbands of the others. It is clearly said that the husbands should love their own wives.
And for the wives, they are also told to respect their own husbands.
3. Spend Your Wealth Wisely
The book of proverbs taught us this:
Wise people live in wealth and luxury, but stupid people spend their money as fast as they get it. (Proverbs 21:20, Todays English Version)
It is normal for us to dream of owning something like a house and lot, car, appliances and other things. But these things should not harm the marriage. And it can be done if the couple spend their money wisely.
The Bible teaches us this:
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5, New International Version)
According to the verse, keep your lives free of love of money.
The love of money will make you spend your money as fast as you can which is describe by the bible as the way the stupid spend their money. So, in order for you to successfully spend your money wisely, you should be away from the love of money. And just like what it said: You should be content with what you have.
4. Don’t Break Your Promises
The book of Malachi teaches us this:
You ask why he no longer accepts them. It is because to the wife you married when you were young. She was your partner, and you have broken your promise to her, although you promised before God that you would be faithful to her. (Malachi 2:14, Todays English Version)
Communication is part of the married couple’s relationship. They should give time for them to bond to each other by not only talking about anything but also by discussing seriously some important subjects that each of them needs to know, to learn and to prepare for whatever happens. And part of this communication is the promises made by them.
But promises should not be broken. Don’t ever subscribe to what other say that promises are made to be broken. As you promise your spouse, you need to make sure it will be fulfilled.
But during the wedding, each of you took vow that you will be faithful to each other until death and that only death can separate you. You should not break this vow as will!
About the Author
Fred Gonzales is a member of the Iglesia Ni Cristo or Church of Christ. He is not a minister and does not have the authority to represent the said Church. This article might be written through the inspiration of the teachings uphold by the said Church but it should be considered just a personal writing, not of the Church.