How did I get that Photo of CJ?

After our wedding on June 20, 2008, my wife and I monitored her (my wife) menstrual cycle by recording the days of her menstruation. With this, I could estimate when would be her fertile period.

Why? Well, the fertile days of woman is the best time to perform sex not just to make sure that my wife would get pregnant but for our enjoyment too. Didn’t I tell you already that during that period, progesterone exist. And the progesterone hormone is responsible to the increase of the sex drive of the woman. Consider reading my article, “Hormonal Imbalance“.

Now, when we noticed that she missed the scheduled menstruation that should be on the last week of August 2008, we immediately did a pregnancy test and found out that she’s pregnant.

So, on the first week of September 2008 we immediately visited an OB-Gyne. Using the Doctor’s Ultrasound device, it was confirmed that my wife was really pregnant.

Since then we visited the OB-Gyne for the regular pre-natal checkup every month. The doctor used her Ultrasound device to check the status of the fetus as part of the monitoring of the development of the fetus.

I wanted to take photos of the fetus through the Ultrasound device but I was hesitant to do it knowing that the price for an Ultrasound exam was PhP700.00.

This afternoon during the prenatal of my wife, I talked to the doctor if I could take photos of my son through her Ultrasound device. The doctor agreed and did not even ask for a fee. So, while the doctor was checking our son using her Ultrasound, I was there taking photos of what had been shown on the Ultrasound device monitor.

In other words, that photo posted above was taken on the monitor of the Ultrasound device used by the doctor.

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”Richardson became enraged when Sarah changed her marital status on Facebook to single and decided to go and see her as she was not responding to his messages,” Cortese said.

”He gained entry by breaking the front door window and made his way into the property.

”Once inside, he found Sarah in her bedroom and subjected her to a frenzied and brutal attack with a knife and then attempted to take his own life.”

This incident is a lesson to married ones who are trying to act like unmarried by setting the marital status in Friendster, Facebook, MySpace or any social networking sites to “single” because it will really cause trouble between the couple especially if their husbands or wives are jealous.

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My questions are:

1. What would you do now?
2. Would you demand her to return back your kidney?

Actually, the scenario I gave you (above) is what really happened to Dr. Richard Batista, a Surgeon in New York, USA.

Dr. Batista married Dawnell (a nurse) in 1990. In 2001, Dawnell Batista’s kidneys failed to function, so with his love to his wife he donated his one kidney to his wife.

After surviving the transplant, Dawnell got injured that she needed to undergo a therapy. While in therapy, she felt inlove with the therapist. And in July 2005, Dawnell filed a divorce.

Dr. Batista countersued his soon-to-be ex-wife. And later he demanded that Dawnell should return back his kidney. (source)

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Brother, Thank you for writing article that contains good advices.  I agree that we should follow the will of God because He is the founder of marriage.

“‘Til death do us part”. I really agree with that.

But friend, we are human and we are not perfect. Life is like a race and there would winners and there would be losers too.

My question is: If your partner in life (wife) has engaged with extra-marital affair  and you forgive her many times for the sake of the children, but still she couldn’t change. Should you leave her and marry again?

I don’t know if what he told us on this email is based on his experience or is he just making a scenario just to hear our thoughts about the problem. But whatever is true, here’s my thought about it:

Be Truthful

My wife and I had agreed a lot of things even before we get married. And one of our agreements is that we should be truthful to each other. Being truthful doesn’t mean that we should devout our selves to each other.

When we say truthful, it means that we should tell each other what we feel and what we think about our relationship. If one of us felt that he or she need to stop the relationship because his or her love is already with the third party, then he or she should tell his or her partner about this for them to decide whether to continue the relationship or to break it off.

In our 4 and 1/2 years (Today, December 24, 2008 is our relationship’s 5th year anniversary) of engaging with long distance relationship, we followed what we had agreed.

When I learned that my gf accepted new suitor, I immediately talked to her and told her that it was the right time to stop our relationship. I told her that what she did simply told me that she’s not already contented with our relationship and that sh’e already looking for someone other then me.

However, she told me that she’s sorry for what she did and that she’d never do that again. So, I forgave her and went on with our relationship.

Avoid the Entrance of the Third Party

Usually, a relationship breaks because of the third party. I meet lots of people and talk to them about their relationship and most of them agreed with that.

It might be true that the husband made a lot of failures in his life but this failures actually can’t break a marriage as long as each of the couple avoided the entrance of the third party into their relationship. Once the wife or the husband allowed the entrance of the third party into their relationship, then that will be the time that their marriage will start to be ruined.

Please read my article, “How to avoid the entrance of the third party into your relationship.”

The Third Party is IN Already?

Now, you already missed something and the third party is in your relationship already. So, what should you do?

Okay. You need to talk. If your wife is responsible in letting the third party in then ask her if she’s still interested to continue your relationship. If she really wants to go with the third party then let her be. Your family will suffer the misery that will be brought into by the relationship of your wife to the third party.

However, you need to tell her that your family really needs her as the mother of your children and as your wife. If you’ve done things that led her to what she’s in now, then you still have the chance to change, promised her that you’ll change, and show her that you are changing.

Should I Marry Again?

I know that you are Christian. So instead of directly answering this question with my thoughts, I rather share you the advice of Apostle Paul:

10 Now to the Married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.

11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. (I Corinthians 7:10-11, New Kings James Version)

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Remember that we got married only last June 20, 2008. And it was too early to say that we are already successful in bringing our relationship.

I knew that you knew that the success in marriage can be finally told on the death of one of the couple because that will be the time when our bond as husband and wife will expire. If one of us dies with our relationship intact then we can say, we are successful in bringing up our relationship. On the other hand, if one of us dies while our relationship still broken, so we failed.

How do we manage our relationship?

My wife and I have no secret on how do we manage our relationship. We are just following the advises of the Executive Minister of the Iglesia ni Cristo (Church of Christ) during the seminars that we both attended through the Minister of the Church who was tasked to give us the instructions before we finally get married.

(1) ‘Til Death Do Us Part

We are taught that we will remain husband and wife as long as we both live. One of us will be freed from that bond if one of us dies. Since we both believe that it is God who unite us into one flesh, so we also believe that we both have no right to break that bond and it’s God alone who has the power to do so. In other words, we have no right to look for another partner as long as both of us are still living. The contract is: ‘Til Death Do Us Part.

Because of this, every time we experience misunderstanding, we always tried to settle the problem for us to preserve our relationship and to avoid the entrance of someone or something that could ruin our relationship.

(2) Woman is Fragile

As husband, I was taught that woman is very fragile. She is compared to a jar. If I would not be careful, that jar would be broken and I would have the hard time forming it back to its original state.

So, I really tried my best to be patient in dealing with her. But since I am just a man and am not really a perfect one, so there were times that I hurt her with my words. However, I never went to sleep without settling any problems. Before we perform our devotional prayer to God, we first reconcile and forgive each other from the things that we did which caused trouble in our relationship.

(3) Respect to Each Other

My wife was taught to respect me as the head of the family. And she really tried her best to show her respect to me as her head by respecting all my decisions.

But of course, I also have to show my respect to her as my wife. Before deciding on what to do for our family, I consult her first because I know that my wife always has a better idea than me.

Our respect to each other can be shown not only on decision making and on the way we deal with each other, but it can also be shown during our sexual adventures.

It might be true that I am more sexually aggressive than my wife, but it doesn’t mean that I would just do the things that would give me pleasure. I should also show her how I value her by giving her the sexual pleasure that she also needs to feel and enjoy.

Finale

We’d done lot of things that would help us preserve our relationship. But I know that you also have good things to be shared to us. Please share your thoughts by replying this email, or by posting them at our comment section.

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Regarding the Wedding Invitation that we recently used, that was actually one of the result of my effort to save money because creating or ordering traditional wedding invitation is expensive. I just don’t want to spend more money for the invitation. Just like what I said on my previous post, “Wedding Invitation Wordings“, the design of the wedding invitation is based on what we (my wife now and I) had planned.

Unique Wedding Invitation

One of our visitors of this blog asked me ideas on how to create unique wedding invitation. I really want to help her but I just don’t have other ideas. I couldn’t suggest to create a wedding invitation that looks like a postcard because this kind of wedding invitation is already used by lots of couples including us, and I don’t consider it unique already.

My wife, by the way, explained to me that a wedding invitation even if designed in traditional way, if you’ll use native materials or other materials which are not used before can become unique as long as it looks different from the usual looks of wedding invitation. Now, if you consider this idea in designing your own wedding invitation, then you need to look around you, at your backyard, or in your farm and consider every materials you found… just make your talent in art works.

Thank you.

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Well. Thank you so much for your concern.

We of course know the proper wordings for the (formal) wedding invitation. But we also believe that we can make our own rule in making and designing our own wedding invitation. The format or design, and the wordings on our wedding invitation might be considered as “not formal”, but we found it good than following the usual design and wordings.

Wedding Invitation Proper Wordings

I copied the sample wedding invitation wordings given by the Kasal.Com for the wedding that the groom and the bride are the hosts:

This day I will marry my friend,
The one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love
Michelle Perez
daughter of Atty. and Mrs. Eufemio Perez and
Michael Guerrero
son of
Mr. and Mrs. Agusto Guerrero

We hope that you will join
in this celebration of love
as we exchange our marriage vows
on Saturday, the twenty-fifth day of December the
year Two Thousand Four
at half past five o’clock in the afternoon
Sitio Victoria Garden
General Luna cor. Victoria Street
Intramuros, Manila
Reception follows at the same venue.

Here’s the things that should be considered in writing wedding invitations according to the experts in making and designing invitations:

1. The names should be written in full including the middle name.
2. Spell out all words when mentioning the time, the date and address.
3. Use the spelling “honour” for the term “honor ” or “favour” for the term “favor” if ever you’ll use it in requesting their presence.

Our Own Wedding Invitation

To let you know, I was the one who designed our wedding invitation as shown below:

But this design is based on what we, my girlfriend and I, had planned. It’s like a post card, isn’t it? But it’s a kind of wedding invitation that people (who receive this) will try to keep along with their photos in their photo album. And another thing is, it’s a wedding invitation that promotes tourists spots (The St. Peter and St. Paul islands are seen in our background in that wedding invitation. These islands are few of the tourists destination in Hinunangan, Southern Leyte).

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Related:

• Wedding Invitation Wordings
• Wedding Invitation

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With the average wedding costing more than $25,000, many brides-to-be are disappointed to find their ideas of a perfect wedding financially out of reach. But they don’t have to be! In this newly revised book, you’ll find plenty of updated budget-trimming tips and helpful websites to ensure that you have the best of everything-from cakes to caterers, from bridal registries to bridesmaids’ dresses, and from invitations to decorations-all at a fraction of what you might expect to pay.

These creative money-saving hints, tips, and strategies cover such topics as:

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Whether you choose to have a big or small, formal or informal wedding, the reception seems to clock in at approximately half of your budget. So, going with that figure, you need to evaluate and prioritize wedding clothes, flowers, the photographer, the cake, music, invitations, and the ceremony itself. Can you wear your mother’s wedding dress (with some alterations, of course)? Can you cut invitation costs by using black ink rather than a fancy foil? When you booked the band, did you read the fine print? (One bride found, the day before the wedding, that they had to provide a soundman and soundboard. Yikes!) “Weddings, like life itself,” say the authors, “are rarely predictable.” They suggest appointing one or two (two is better) close friends or family members (but not attendants) as coordinators. It will give the couple a trusted helper/point person during the planning process and take some stress off the day of the event.

How to Have an Elegant Wedding for $5,000 or Less encourages you to dream of your ideal day and then helps you to practically and economically make it happen. “Decide what is really important on your special day and make that a priority,” say the authors. “Know what is right for the two of you. Your wedding day should reflect that.” –Dana Van Nest

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